How do you journal about someone like Todd? We first met Todd in the summer of 2012. His wife, Jennifer, had come to church with her brother, Corey, a couple of weeks previously. Todd was already well into a sickness that would eventually take his life in December 2016.
He came into the chapel kind of bent over, with blood literally coming out of the pores of both of his cheeks. He was stuttering and his hands were balled up, like arthritic. It was easy to see that he needed compassion.
We visited him often, usually bringing food that was needed – stopping at Costco and buying primarily organic foods that were easier for them to digest and also healthier for his condition.
They had adopted a young boy from Columbia, South America, when he was about 2 years old. Saul has multiple disabilities – including learning and an unformed hip that limits his ability to walk (he can scoot around with a walker-like apparatus). Therefore Saul requires a great deal of care as well.
Todd’s illness was so severe that he was unable to keep working and the aid he received from government sources was hardly sufficient. The church and his family often provided additional resources. The members of the Winona Branch, led by the Relief Society, prepared many meals for the family. Cleeson Mill, who also lived in St. Charles, would often drop the food off (if the Eckels were unable to come to church) or another member would bring them out (sometimes us).
Jennifer had a great deal of emotional stress, as one can easily imagine, during this time period and suffered a couple of episodes of emotional and mental breakdowns. During those times, Todd’s mother, Doris Eckel, came all the way from Eagle Bend, MN, to watch over the family. Often her own husband was suffering from similar, but less severe symptoms as Todd back home.
Doris was certainly not a fan of the church or its members during those initial encounters with us. She would usually leave the room when we visited. Later she would stay around a little bit and eventually, she grew to accept and even like us. She was and is a remarkable woman of great patience and compassion.
Todd took care of a number of rescue birds (of the parrot family) while he lived in St. Charles. They were big and often noisy. One time when I visited Todd, the birds were out of their cages and Nina (our oldest granddaughter), who had come with me, was startled when one of the birds squawked loudly and jumped into my lap while I was sitting in a chair.
Todd had to eventually give up the birds because of the dander they gave off. The dander began to have an adverse effect upon Todd’s eyes – causing a film to cover them which greatly restricted his eyesight. He eventually found a couple of other rescue birds that were dander-free which he continued to care for.
Todd had been accepted into a program that the Mayo Clinic set up for him. They had not had any patients like Todd before. His combination of illnesses was unique to their medical history, so they opened up a new folder just for him. They experimented with a number of treatments and meds (including a few treatments of chemotherapy) that not did not help Todd; in fact, his symptoms continued to worsen. More of Todd’s systems began to have problems. His digestive system started to fail. His bladder and bowels would simply not work on their own. Todd described one horrible event where everything came up the wrong way – simply disgusting.
Todd, despite or perhaps partly because of his illness, began to be more active in the church. We were not his home teachers. We had no direct ‘formal’ responsibilities or callings to serve him, but were moved to visit him often – and we became good friends with the family. Later I would become the Branch President and was able to serve him in other ways, but early on, it was purely a labor of compassion and love.
Todd progressed in his learning and was eventually able to receive the Melchizedek Priesthood (ordained an elder) and began to desire to go to the temple to be sealed to his wife and son. He had also received his Patriarchal Blessing from Patriarch Barrett in Rochester.
In those days, Todd could still travel, although with quite a bit of pain.
Todd still had some speaking difficulties and so as they were preparing for the temple; it was very challenging for Todd to make arrangements with the temple. His stuttering made communication difficult for both parties and they were becoming very discouraged. The Lord was to show His hand in their lives.
Collette and I had just been to the temple. Inexplicitly, I had inadvertently left my temple recommend in my shirt pocket and Collette had failed to check the pockets before the shirt went into the washing machine. Therefore, my temple recommend became damaged and partly illegible. I needed to go through the process of interviews with my Branch President and Stake Presidency in order to receive a new recommend. As we did so and it came time to visit a member of the Stake Presidency, I felt a prompting to leave early for Rochester and stop to visit the Eckels on our way. As we approached their home in St. Charles, we could see Jennifer pushing Todd in his wheelchair down the sidewalk. We parked the car by their house and walked quickly down the sidewalk to catch up with them. They were already on the next block when we approached and called out to them. They turned around and were amazed to see us there. As Jennifer rolled him back to us, Todd had his arms wide open, wanting a hug.
As we visited with them, both had tears in their eyes as they explained their frustrations in working with the temple. They had been unable to make themselves understood and therefore no arrangements had been able to be solidified. They were very discouraged and felt that they would never get to the temple. We asked if we could help make some phone calls for them, for which they were so grateful. I finished my interview with President Cragun in Rochester (letting him know about the plight of the Eckel family) and we contacted President David Smith, the St. Paul Temple president. The arrangements were quickly made and accommodations for his physical limitations were secured.
President Smith said it would be perfectly fine for Todd to come to the temple already dressed in his white clothes (changing clothes was a very painful and slow process for Todd) and we would try to perform all of the temple ordinances he needed in one night. We drove up to the temple with Todd and Jennifer in their van. One of their caregivers would drive up later with Saul so he could be sealed to his parents. Todd was very sensitive to light, so he wore a hat that looked similar to the one worn by Indiana Jones (see the attached picture).
President Smith arranged to have the temple open a half hour earlier than normal so Todd could have his initiatory work completed before the endowment session. We had a number of friends from the branch also attend the temple that evening. Dennis Pack, who was at the time a temple worker, served as a helper (proxy) for Todd, when needed. After the endowment ceremony, we met in the Sealing Room, where Todd and Jennifer were sealed for all time and eternity as husband and wife. Later, Saul was brought into the room and sealed to his parents. It was such a wonderful evening and the Lord sustained Todd with the strength he needed to endure the long night. It would be the only time that Todd would be able to attend the temple, but now they were sealed as an eternal family. We were honored to be used by the Lord to help them get to the temple. We later looked back upon the events of the ‘washed’ recommend and recognized the many steps the Lord had prepared to get them to the temple.
