In last month’s first presidency message, President Uchtdorf stated, “Faith is more than a belief. It is complete trust in God accompanied by action. Men and women of faith trust in their merciful Heavenly Father – even during times of uncertainty, even during times of doubt and adversity when they may not see perfectly or understand clearly.”
Although faith is not something we can see or touch, it’s vital to our outlook on life and how we face life’s challenges. As I look at this congregation, it is safe to say that not one of us will escape trials in our life. Some will be more severe than others, but they will come. Our faith will be tested. I feel that one reason we are tried and tested is that our challenges enable us to prove our faith not only to Heavenly Father but maybe more importantly, to ourselves. It’s much easier to profess our faith than it is to prove it and how we meet the challenges that confront us tells a lot about how strong our faith really is.
A common phrase used when I was young was “keep the faith.” At the time I didn’t understand its significance but have since as an adult realized its meaning. Keeping the faith means that no matter what challenges come our way, we stay true to our core beliefs.
Some trials in life are self-inflicted because of bad choices while others come out of the blue such as a loss of a loved one. Whatever the trial, our ability to confront, endure and learn from it will largely depend on our faith in a loving Heavenly Father who will never abandon us in our time of need and in our Savior who loved us enough to atone for our sins and overcome death so that we might live eternally with them.
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Sometimes this is easier said than done. Sometimes the lemons are so bitter to the taste or so numerous that our first inclination is to utter, “Why me?” or “What have I done to deserve this?”
My wife Jody and I have been greatly blessed in our lives. These blessings include three wonderful children, with the addition of two awesome sons-in-law, a wonderful, soon to be daughter-in-law and seven beautiful grandchildren with one on the way. But there was a time in our early years of marriage when it seemed the ‘lemons’ handed to us were too numerous to bear. I’d like to share those personal trials with you, hopefully to allow you to take something from them that you can relate to for your own life challenges.
Jody and I were both brought up in loving homes by loving parents. Raised as staunch Catholics, it was instilled in us at an early age the importance of having faith in the Savior and knowing of his unconditional love for us. This faith would plant the seed for us to investigate the church shortly after we were married and with the sense of faith planted, allow us to be open to its teachings and ultimately to be baptized.
Jody realized that our decision to be baptized would be devastating to her family, especially her parents, because to them we were denying their faith. Counsel from clergy suggested to her parents that the only way to get us back into the fold was to use “tough love”; disownment followed. Having been married only months earlier, many of our belongings were stored at her parents’ home. Since we were no longer part of the family, we were told to pick up those items at a designated time. Those items would include a wedding dress rolled up in a ball.
Jody found it difficult to confront her German/Catholic grandparents whom she dearly loved, so she decided to inform them of our decision by letter, hoping they’d understand having experienced many changes throughout their lives. We received a letter from her grandmother shortly thereafter stating that our news had broken her heart and would probably lead to her death. Two weeks later, we received word that Grandma Sara had died. We decided to attend a funeral with reservation knowing the families negative feelings towards us but attended anyway for the sake of Grandpa Billy. At the gravesite, grandchildren, including Jody, stood in line to receive a single rose from the casket bouquet. An uncle handing them out skipped Jody as if to say, “You don’t belong.” As we left the reception hall filled with approximately 300 guests, an aunt stood up and yelled pointing a finger toward us, “You killed grandma Sara.” (Let’s just say we have had better days!)
Months followed with our new-found ward family including the Firls, Mathiases, Robbs, and Ferraras to name a few, taking the place of our own. The kindness and love shown to us was best described as Christlike and further empowered us that we had made the right decision. Our faith was being nurtured in a loving atmosphere and it grew stronger.
A few months passed and another trial was to emerge. We were living in a lower level apartment when flood waters from the flood of ‘78 hit. We evacuated early in the evening and stayed with dear friends not realizing what was to take place. A narrow creek three blocks away had become a powerful river whose current was so strong that tenants living above us had to evacuate by boat. The water rose 6 inches from our ceiling. We lost everything including our car that had to be left behind due to the engine getting wet from driving through high water. Once again, instead of feeling abandoned and alone, we felt Heavenly Father’s love through the love and acts of kindness of others. The friends we stayed with on the eve of the flood bought us a pair of shoes. A dear sister took our muddied wedding pictures and brought them back to their original luster. A brother, knowing how important my recently deceased dad‘s hunting gun was to me, had it refurbished. No, we didn’t feel abandoned. We felt His embrace through the embrace of others and because of this our faith was strengthened.
We contacted Jody‘s parents to update them of our situation and received feedback that we were being punished for our decision and ended our conversation with the question, “Well, what did you expect?”
Since there was such widespread damage from the flood, housing of any kind was hard to come by. We found ourselves house sitting for families on vacation, going from house to house until we were able to find our own apartment. One such family, prior to leaving on vacation, remarked, “With your luck, our house will probably be hit by lightning while we’re gone!” Guess what. That evening a major storm passed through; lightning struck the house, leaving a 10-foot charred mark on the back siding. (I’m sure they were relieved when we moved on to our next lodging.)
Throughout this bleak period came wonderful news that Jody was expecting our first child, a girl. You can imagine the joy felt as we anticipated her joining our family, especially after experiencing all that we’ve been through. Two months after the flood, Jody, being about seven months pregnant, went in for a check up. She had elevated blood pressure but the baby seemed to be fine so they sent her home to come back throughout the next weeks for further monitoring. It was that evening that Jody developed nausea and experienced what appeared to be spotted vision. For those that might be sitting in the congregation not familiar with church practices, we are a lay ministry and worthy men are able to receive the priesthood, enabling that priesthood holder to give blessings. I, having just received the priesthood, had the wonderful opportunity to give Jody a blessing. It simply stated these few words, “This, more than anything you’ve experienced, will bring your parents to your side.” We were confused. How could this be?! We had lost all of our material possessions to no avail. What else could accomplish this? We were soon to find out.
I took Jody into the ER as her health was deteriorating. We soon found out that Jody‘s blood pressure had elevated to 200/180. The baby was checked for fetal heart tones and to our devastation, none could be heard. Our Rebecca didn’t survive. Jody was experiencing a complication of preeclampsia known as HELLP syndrome. I was told that toxicity was building up in Jody’s body, that her organs including her kidneys were shutting down and that she might not make it. I called her parents. I told them of the situation, that the baby had passed on and that they could easily lose their daughter as well.
As you can imagine, I looked at my beautiful young wife lying in intensive care. I found myself pleading that she live and literally cried to the heavens, “Heavenly Father, are you there? Do you even know or care what we’re going through?” I testify to you brothers and sisters that as swiftly as a moment of despair entered my thoughts, it was replaced with a calming and comforting peace. Not only did I sense He was present but also that He loved me and was grieving with me. Within minutes, blessings would flow…
As I looked down the hallway, two familiar figures entered the room. Since my phone call, Jody’s parents’ faith had also been tested. Do they continue to listen to the ill-advised counsel given them or do they listen to their hearts? Even though Jody couldn’t speak, it just took the strong hand of her dad’s on hers that caused tears to flow. We had her parents back. Our little Rebecca had accomplished a mighty task and our faith that families are forever gives us comfort in knowing that we can be together again.
Heavenly Father wasn’t done yet. Shortly after her parents’ arrival, a nurse screamed out, “You have urine!” Her kidneys started functioning once again and as quickly as the onset of her illness, Jody’s body started to recover.
As I have been able to reflect on that period of my life, I must admit, as difficult as it was for Jody and I, we learned an extremely valuable lesson that has stayed with us to this very day. When everything is said and done, the only thing in life that is of any significance is our faith in the Savior and our relationship to him and to each other. A few have asked how we could have survived such a tumultuous period in our young married life. Others have wondered how easily it could’ve been just to give up and even deny our faith and give in to the notion that it’s just not worth it.
Brothers and sisters, how could we deny the one thing that gave us the strength to endure? When we have faith, we have everything. Faith is what makes life worthwhile and faith allows us to meet our challenges head-on. Faith is what sustains us and what gives us hope that there is a purpose for life and that is to experience all of its joys and sorrows knowing that ultimately we will have eternal life with those we love.
Once again, all we need to do is turn to the Savior for the perfect example of faith. He lived a perfect life and made all the right choices because he knew without any doubt who he was and what was expected of him. His mission to atone for our sins and break the chains of death he accepted with unwavering faith, with a love for us so deep that he would be willing to undergo unimaginable suffering in the garden of Gethsemane and later the agony of death by crucifixion. On the cross, stripped of his garments, tormented and ridiculed, after accomplishing his mission, he would cross the veil to his loving Father. Throughout his life and even into death, his faith defined him and allowed him, the Savior of the world, to endure to the end. His faith was who he was.
I close now, brothers and sisters, with my testimony. I know of the Savior’s love because I’ve been blessed many times in life with a surety that he indeed loves me. With all the challenges that have confronted Jody and I, we have never felt abandoned by him because we have felt his love through the love shown to us by others. May we continue to exercise our faith by lessening the burdens of others through service and by doing so, have our own faith strengthened. As we face our own trials, may we embrace our faith, allowing it to strengthen and comfort us. As we face our personal trials, may we be keenly aware of the Savior’s presence and influence. May our faith find us and ultimately become “who we are.”
Talk given at stake conference on May 6, 2017